- Amanda McKinney
Pride Goeth Before a Fall...
Oh, how hard is the lesson of humility. God has me in a time of learning humility right now. How do I know this? I have been publicly and deeply shown my wrongdoing and pride twice in the past month... in addition to many other instances in between less public, but nonetheless humbling. It is not a pleasant lesson at all to have to learn, but an important one nonetheless.
The first time my wrongdoing was brought to a public attention, I wanted so greatly to defend myself. My people-pleasing tendency was completely and utterly hurt and offended. But as I was in a role of service at the time, I was hurriedly praying and trying to sort through the myriad of emotions I was experiencing to hopefully get to some level of acceptance and realizing what was the right thing to do. I was greatly grieved I hurt someone, but acknowledging my fault and speaking with the person later was quite the lesson in humility.
Then it happened again.....and this time I was in a position of authority as the "expert" on a subject (sign language) and I was proven completely wrong about something. Then I was informed not so kindly "I told you so, but you who clearly knows more than I do said it was different." Oh, how that burns! Once again I was in a situation much more public than the first where I had to swallow my pride and accept my wrong doing to many individuals who were more than happy to confirm that I was wrong. Oooh, what a hard lesson to learn!
Although I am constantly reliving both of those situations and their individual humiliation with a human desire to hopefully not repeat them, I am encouraged that God continues to teach me and for some reason has decided that now I am ready for this lesson. It is a hard lesson that I am most definitely NOT looking forward to, but the only way I can truly love others is if I learn to be humble. Oh, that I may learn this hard lesson quickly!!